Archives > March 2017

Pole Style: How Your Pole Journey Constantly Changes

Post created by Sexy Poleflow Extraordinaire – Asher

If you have ever been to one of my sexyflow classes, you know that’s where my home is. I love my heels & hip sways, floor work & booty twerks. Anything to do with sexy and pole, count me in!
That’s just where I find the most joy in my current pole journey. What’s funny is that if you ask my students, some will say that sexy is just not their style, and you know what? That’s okay!

It almost seems like everyone forgets that there are multiple different styles of pole. And not to mention, it takes a long time to figure out which on you like best. OR even that your style and what you enjoy may change along the way.

When I first started to pole dance, I loved the tricks and fitness side of pole. I wanted to do all the strong and flexible things that I could. Being an ex-gymnast, this is what my body originally was drawn to. I wanted something that was just as challenging  and fun as I found gymnastics to be. Pole was perfect for what I was looking for. I laughed off all the sexy moves in the beginning because that wasn’t something I was interested in, yet I still learned it.

As I started to go deeper into my pole journey, I started to want to dance more. I came away from strength and tricks, and moved towards dance and flow. I wanted to be a contemporary dancer for as long as I could remember. I started focusing less on the strength and move on the beauty of a choreographed piece on the ground. I still felt free with how I could move and dance, and my pole was my partner! This still had nothing to do with being sexy. I liked my leg warmers, and my long flowy tops. I watched for hours and hours on end of youtube videos and beautiful contemporary pole routines, and I was in awe!

Eventually while still in classes, I was told I was able to bring shoes to class. I had never even thought about shoes until this was brought up, but I gave it a shot. Turns out… pole is a lot hard to do in heels, and so is dancing! The sexy moves that I had learned at the beginning became harder because now I was literally on my toes. Yet, I found something empowering and exciting about my shoes. I loved how much more difficult simple things had become. How I couldn’t walk in heels to save my life, but I could when I was using the pole. The heels were challenging alone, and after I started wearing them, they started to make me feel confident and sexy. From there, I started to search more into the sexier side of pole. I began watching videos from Maddie Sparkle and Michelle Shimmy. They were amazing, and they combined everything that I had learned until this point. Strength, flexibility, flow and dance… and heels! It felt like everything I had learned was starting to come together into my own style of pole.

Since then I have kept up with wearing my heels and practicing more sexy type movements, but this is NOT how I started pole. It’s amazing how many of my friends even notice the difference.

Even from watching my students, I can see how some have really developed their own style of pole. I love my flowy students how can make beautiful lines and shapes with their bodies. My students who can climb up the pole with no legs and make it look effortless. My students who just want me to teach them how to twerk and to walk in their heels!

Everyone is so different. We need to remember that whatever your style of pole is, IT IS YOURS! If you want to be sexy, be sexy. If you want to be contemporary, be contemporary. the point of pole is to do what makes you happy. No matter you style, the pole community is going to embrace you with open arms!


Sexy – What’s the big deal?

I used to be afraid of Sexy. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

Sex and sensuality were topics never discussed with my family. Being part of a conservative Christian home, all I knew about sex was that it was only meant for husband and wives – and that it would hurt. Yes – that was the extent of my birds and the bees talk! Sounds terrifying, doesn’t it? Seemed to me that it was a submissive act for ones’ husband, and it was up to me to explore the rest.

I can’t quite recall my intrigue into pole dancing. I remember seeing a Toronto Pole studio being interviewed by a VJ on MTV, and I thought “wow, that looks like so much fun!”
I have no idea if I was intrigued by the sexy aspect, the strength, or simply knew that I needed exercise but unfortunately hated conventional gyms.

Just barely 18, I registered for my first Pole Dancing class at Aradia Fitness – the Jasper Ave location. I remember being asked to walk in a circle, and wander your hands.
Avoiding all eye contact possible, I couldn’t help but think “what on EARTH am I doing here? This has got to be the worst idea I’ve ever had.”
Thankfully the pole portion of the class was as much of a blast as I thought it would be, but man – that sexy stuff had to go!
After being hooked on the pole fitness craze, and opening up my own studio, I continued on the war against sexuality being a part of what we represented.

Nope. Nothing sexual going on over here. This is fitness ONLY. Push-ups, sit ups, grunting, sweating, and strength moves only! Pole dancing art was a part of the circus before it ever came to the strip clubs, don’t ya know?!

These are the things I argued with anyone who dared to make a “must be a class for strippers” comparison. You know what I found along the way all while doing this? Our students were desperately craving and missing the sexy side! And I can’t vouch for all of them, but a vast majority needed it in their lives. Whether we realize it or not, sexuality manifests in our lives all day long – playing critical roles in our desires, beliefs, attitudes, responsibilities, relationships, and the list goes on!

As women, we are so often taught that sexuality is a mans world. Men have more libido than women, men want it more often, men enjoy it more – and the list of lies continue. In some cases, women are shamed into believing that by expressing their sexuality, they are in fact being slutty, promiscuous temptresses. Well ladies and gentlemen, Aradia is now here to say NO MORE to that bullcrap, as we shout our slogan over the rooftops “Meet Your Sexy Side.”

Do it. Why? Because it feels good, and it’s good for you. You want to start holding your head high? Looking people in the eye? Walking into a room with confidence?
Learn to dance in a pair of 8 inch stilettos, and I promise you, you’ll get all of that and more. You will discover a peace within yourself that you may not have known you ever lost.

I write this piece, because my heart cries for the women who walk by my booth at tradeshows, powerfully exclaiming “ugh, I could never do that.”
They’re not talking about physically being unable – they’re talking about their sexuality. They’re denying themselves the right to feel like the sexual, empowered, lioness goddesses that they could be.

Step outside of your comfort zone. Meet Your Sexy Side.